“It’s too big, it won’t fit”

That was my best friend Alison’s Facebook status in high school. I’m guessing the year was 2010, but we can definitely fact-check it if we care. (We don’t. We = me.)

One of my cringeworthy FB statuses was “shower.” And OG FB users know that when you used to post a status, it would always say your name, the verb “is,” and then whatever you typed after that. So, my status was “Lisa Cromwell is shower.”

I revealed these FB status truths to Trev the other night, and he was like, “Why would you guys do that?”

Really…Why, though? Oh, I’m sure I was looking for attention from some boy. Probably many boys. Same for Al. Let’s not forget that girls born in the early 90s grew up learning to be slutty, skinny, and mean—all for the attention of boys. Maybe not in our own homes but certainly these were the messages pouring out of pop culture.

But now we live in the land of Meta, and who even uses Facebook? JK, I’m still on my FB marketplace bulllllshiiittt.