F*ck the Patriarchy?

I don’t know if I’ll ever feel bad for men as a sub-group of humans, but I do genuinely feel bad for men who are nice and not predatory. Because anything a strange man does creeps me out, and LOTS of things nice men do creep me out. But, like, that’s their fault?

A man in my building was standing at the elevator when I walked in through the lobby, and as the elevator opened, he motioned with his hand to signal that he was “letting me” enter first. I had my airpods in so that I could stealithly avoid talking to anyone, and I gave him a weird little smile and then asked, “What floor?”

I pressed 4 for myself and 5 for him, and I barely heard him through All Too Well (10-minute version), as he said, “How’s life on 4 treating ya?”

“Fine,” I said. And then I felt bad (because I’m a woman) so I asked, “How’s life on 5?” like I gave a shit.

“It’s not too bad. Are you facing the street?'“ Turns out we were having a conversation.

“Yes, I am. I face Clark Avenue.” (Explaining myself)

“Oh, so you hear all the firestrucks?”

“Yep. They’re not too bad, though.” (Making it all seem fine)

“Yeah, you get used to them after a while.”

And, by the grace of God, the elevator dinged.

“Have a good one,” I said, walking away, wondering, Was he just a nice man asking nice questions? Or is he on neighborhood watchdog and I should’ve gotten his name?